


cosmic dissonance

by yangaf



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Implied Sexual Content, adam makes an appearance in chapter 2 and this boy is a TWINK and he's a GEEK and we LOVE HIM, and he and adora are literally the same person, catra is a good gf, its truly what adora deserves, she-ra is scary and catra is there for adora whenever she needs her, she-ra lore expansion? mayhaps, they are also... horny, very horny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:08:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24298621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yangaf/pseuds/yangaf
Summary: She-Ra and her power is still a mystery, even after the war's end. Sometimes, Adora discovers abilities that are painful, that are terrifying, that are draining to her very core. Most times, Adora can't control them- they consume her, leave her empty and broken and scared.Every time, Catra is there to catch her.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 36
Kudos: 809





	cosmic dissonance

**Author's Note:**

> catradora is canon king. here is 10k of them being in love, adora being a selfless dumb jock who doesn't take care of herself, and catra being the most loving gf in the universe

It starts off as an innocent question.

They’re gathered around a campfire near the outskirts of Bright Moon’s capital, having slowly made their way back after the end of the war. The Princess Alliance (including Bow, Sea Hawk, Wrong Hordak, and Catra) has been making their way through ruined villages and towns, helping any and all civilians with search and rescue, medical aid, and the re-establishing of communication.

Perfuma, tipsy off of the moonshine she managed to brew from an array of plants she had grown and decayed that night, brings her eyes to Adora. “You’re so dreamy, you know that?” she sighs, resting her jaw on her palm.

Catra growls at the same moment Adora brings her hand to press softly on the small of her back. Catra also notices Scorpia averting her gaze from Perfuma, casting her eyes down to look at her feet. Adora laughs uncomfortably into her drink. “I… thank you? I guess?” Perfuma shakes her head.

“No, not _you_ , Adora. Well, not that-,” her face turns red as she attempts to backtrack, “- not that I think you’re ugly. Because I definitely don’t think that you are.” Glimmer laughs into Bow’s shoulder.

“I don’t know, Perfuma,” Catra says teasingly, winding her tail around Adora’s wrist. “Her face must hurt, because it’s _killing_ me.” Adora snorts into her drink and gives Catra a playful bump with her shoulder, and Catra’s heart picks up at the way Adora blushes.

“I meant _She-Ra_ ,” Perfuma finally continues. “A woman that size and strength… just… wow,” she sighs dreamily. Scorpia coughs loudly.

“Interesting,” she mutters. This time, Bow laughs into Glimmer’s shoulder. Perfuma presses on, leaning forward across the fire to Adora.

“What’s it like being her?” she asks, taking another sip of her drink. “What does it feel like to transform? To have that raw strength inside of you? I’m just saying, it must be very exciting.”

Frosta, Sea Hawk, and Mermista lean forward, whispering their ' _ooh_ 's and ' _yeah'_ s. Glimmer and Bow, adorably, tilt their heads sideways as they wait for Adora to respond. Entrapta mutters softly under her breath, something about _data_ , as Wrong Hordak blinks. Scorpia lowers her drink to look at Adora. Netossa and Spinnerella seem to be in their own world, the eyes closed as they lean on one another near the back of the group. Catra turns her head towards Adora, her eyebrow raising.

Adora is staring down into her cup, her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes frantically moving back and forth, like there is some answer in the cup to the question. Catra frowns. She runs her hand softly up Adora’s back and stops at the back of her neck, playing with the loose ends of hair that have fallen out of her ponytail.

“Adora?” she asks softly. Instead of responding, Adora bursts out into laughter. It’s harsh and it’s loud- unnerving in a way that makes Catra lean away slightly from her. A sweep around the campfire tells Catra that everyone else is just as startled.

Adora, however, continues to laugh. Her laughter, wrong and unlike her, picks up in volume, until she is able to compose herself. “It hurts, actually,” she breathes, staring down into her cup as a fake smile falls on her lips. She looks up. “It hurts a lot. I don’t think anyone has ever asked me that before. It’s not very fun, sometimes.”

Glimmer frowns. “What do you mean, ‘it hurts’? We’ve seen you transform so many times. It never looks like you’re in any pain.” Bow snickers.

“Catra thinks it’s hot,” he mutters, and Catra turns sharply to him, her eyes narrowed as a blush spreads across her cheeks.

“I’m _allowed_ to think it’s hot, dumbass,” she says, leaning her head on Adora’s shoulder. But the momentary break from seriousness is not enough to turn off the alarms ringing in Catra’s head. _It hurts her?_

Adora chuckles at Catra and brings her wrist to her face, pressing them gently against her lips. Catra hums in content before Adora continues. “It… well. It didn’t hurt before I shattered the sword,” she says, her eyebrows furrowing. “It was painless, and I knew what was going on. But the first time I was able to summon the sword and transform was, um, quite painful. I used to be aware of what was happening around me, and what was happening during when I transformed, but now I just feel a lot of pain and it’s gone in a second. I don’t know,” Adora finishes, taking a too-large drink from her cup. “I don’t know. It used to be painless and now it’s not- like I’m fighting something. I get bigger, and my bones and muscle and skin all stretch and grow. It’s the worst pain I’ve felt in my life. I don’t know.”

Silence falls over the group as they stare at Adora, all at a loss for words. Glimmer is the first one to say something.

“Do you think…” Glimmer starts, but her voice trails off softly. “Do you think it’s because you’re stronger now? You’re more powerful, or something?” Adora shrugs, still staring into her cup.

“I don’t know. It’s… it’s like-” she sets her cup down and looks at Glimmer, her fits curling and uncurling against her chest. “Do you remember the first time I transformed into her? When I just did it, and then I changed back into me, and I had no clue what happened and no memory of what happened? I was terrified, and it started to hurt in the middle of it. But that first time was when I was able to experience transforming… slowly? I don’t know. I saw my clothes change and I felt getting bigger, but then everything started to hurt. And then I turned back into me. I didn’t remember the rest.”

Mermista chimes in. “So, wait. Like, do you think maybe it hurt because you were scared? Or, like, maybe it’s because you had never experienced magic before? But now it’s stronger?” she asks. Adora shakes her head, and Catra moves to grab her hand and place it into her lap. She strokes her knuckles with her thumb a few times before Adora speaks.

“I’m not scared anymore,” she says quickly. “Now, transforming now is just quick and painful, but it’s… almost routine. I know what to expect now. And I’ve been doing it a lot in the past few days, you know, with helping out the towns we stop in and everything. But I guess,” she trails off and drops her eyes to look at her and Catra’s clasped hands, “I feel more of her power. She-Ra has gotten stronger.”

“You never refer to yourself as She-Ra,” Entrapta says. “Why is that? Aren’t you the same person?” Adora stills, and Catra squeezes her hand.

“I… no. I don’t think we are. I can control She-Ra and her magic. I can see, I can hear, I have all of my senses through her, and it feels like me. But sometimes, there have always been these moments where things will happen, and suddenly, I’m not the one piloting anymore. It feels like, instinctually, I know what to do. Like the healing thing,” she sneaks a quick glance at Catra, “or knowing that I would be able to fly through space without oxygen and create material ground for me to jump off of. It’s weird,” she finishes, leaning back into Catra, “but I guess, I don’t know, I’ve gotten used to it.”

The group is silent again. Mermista and Frosta share a look. Bow and Glimmer do the same. Catra, however, can sense Adora’s discomfort and exhaustion. “I think it’s time for bed,” Catra says loudly, standing from her spot. She offers Adora her hand, who grabs it quickly and rises to stand next to her. She presses her chest into Catra’s arm and blinks up warmly at her, and for a second, Catra forgets what she was doing.

Thankfully, though, Bow stands and yawns, leading the rest of the group to do the same. “We’ve got a few miles ahead of us before we reach Malenga,” he says as Glimmer slips her hand into his. “Catra’s right. Let’s get some rest and try to leave at sunrise tomorrow.” With that, the group separates and everyone moves to their respective tents. Catra and Glimmer, in a moment of shared concern, both look back at each other as they walk away with their lovers, worry etched on both of their faces. Catra nods softly to Glimmer, hoping that she is able to convey _relax, I’ve got her, don’t worry_ before she disappears with Adora behind the trees.

“Thanks for the save,” Adora whispers, nuzzling her head into Catra’s neck when they’re settled in their tent. Catra’s heart beats harder as she slides her palm down Adora’s arm, pulling her closer to her chest. Out of all of the luxuries she can now experience due to the war’s end, nothing could ever prepare her for this. For _Adora_.

“Of course,” Catra mumbles back, pressing her lips to the top of Adora’s head. She knows that Adora was uncomfortable earlier, but Catra does not want to assume that she is hiding something from the rest of them. “... You okay?”

Adora glances up slyly. “Since when do you want to talk about feelings? Aren’t you too macho for that?” she asks teasingly, and Catra’s ears start to burn.

“ _No,_ ” Catra huffs, but it’s devoid of any frustration or anger. “I… I just worry about you, you idiot. You know that,” she finishes, running her fingertips up and down Adora’s back. She sighs happily.

“I _do_ know that, but I’ve gotta say, it’s nice to be reminded every once in a while,” Adora hums, leaning up to pull Catra’s chin towards her. She meets her in a searing kiss.

“ _Adora_ ,” she whimpers, her tail curling around Adora’s leg. Adora grins mischievously and starts to kiss down Catra’s neck, her chest, and-

“ _Adora-!_ ”

“Sh,” Adora hushes her, teasing her fingers along the edge of the waistband of Catra’s shorts. “You don’t want to wake anyone up, do you?” Catra’s head spins at the look Adora is giving her- a cheeky smile, lust filled eyes, and a pretty blush dusting across her face. Catra shakes her head meekly. 

“Good girl,” Adora breathes as she lowers her mouth to press a kiss below Catra’s navel. “Then be quiet for me.” 

Catra whimpers again, quietly, a bites her knuckle in an attempt to keep quiet.

They don’t get much sleep that night. Adora is the first to wake, as always, and she winks at Catra as she pulls her shirt over her head before exiting the tent. Catra flops her head down onto the pillow, blush-covered face first, and lets out a weak groan. She knows that the trip to the next town will test her patience.

* * *

They reach Malgena at around noon. She and Melog- the only duo in the group to have heightened senses- had been primarily leading the search and rescue operations due to their ability to hear cries for help and smell blood from long distances. Those, however, are few and far between. Catra and Melog manage to locate as many- if not all- survivors as possible within the first few hours after arriving at a new town.

People thank her. They weep into her shoulder after she hands them their children; they give her a fast embrace as she leads them to their mothers and fathers, barricaded in caves and underground caverns; they offer her desserts and flowers and smiles. They _praise_ her.

It’s taking Catra a lot of getting used to. But she tries- she smiles awkwardly and gives a small ‘you’re welcome’. The same response, the same routine. Perfuma smiles warmly at her every time. But it’s only been a few weeks since the end of the war, and Catra knows that she has a lot of work to do on herself.

Being completely out of her element, however, does not distract her from the darkening bags under Adora’s eyes. Adora, voted jokingly among the group of friends to be 'Most Likely to Work Herself to Death' during a campfire one night, had been working non-stop to make sure that any and all needs were met.

The best Catra can do for her is to remind her every chance she gets to take a break.

She is the first to spring into action to move debris, quickly summoning her sword and transforming into She-Ra to move boulders, buildings, and any remaining heavy artillery from the towns they travel to. She exhausts herself- Catra can tell. Instead of the usual gleam in her eye and her million-watt smile as she accepts praise from the citizens she helps, She-Ra has started to return soft, tight-lipped smiles before collapsing back into Adora in a flash of blinding light. She knows that Adora is more than strong enough to handle the stress and exhaustion, but still, it worries Catra.

“Take it easy, Adora,” Catra says to her one evening, grabbing her wrist gently. She-Ra had just lifted a Horde tank off of a small shop, thrown it fifty feet away from the group of civilians staring in awe, and lifted all six of the children that flocked towards her into her arms. “You’re working yourself to death.”

She-Ra turns down to look at Catra, and for a moment, Catra can not see Adora.

She sees a fresh bead of sweat glide down She-Ra’s temple as her, unfocused and dimmer than usual, scan her face. After a moment, her eyes blink rapidly at Catra, like she had just processed that she was there. She finally grins, genuinely and softly, at Catra.

“I can handle it, love,” she smiles, bending down to press a kiss to the top of Catra’s head. She can’t control the way her ears flatten against her head or the way she takes pleasure in the heat rushing to her own face. “I’ll be fine. I’m fine.”

At this, Catra snaps out of her momentary love-struck stupor and raises an eyebrow at She-Ra. “You _are_ fine, or you _will_ be fine?” she questions, meeting She-Ra’s eyes. She-Ra turns away, suddenly, scanning the area.

“There is more to be done,” she says. The shift in the tone of her voice is not one Catra recognizes, in either Adora or when she is transformed into She-Ra. It’s a stiff, clipped one, but completely devoid of malice, passion, or haste. She walks away from Catra, but stops momentarily. She turns back, slowly, to raise her hand towards her, her palm open to the sky. “Are you coming?”

Catra can’t say no to her.

But she feels like something is wrong.

* * *

_I am worried for her,_ Melog says to Catra one night, the both of them perched on a tree and watching Adora toss around in her sleeping bag. She and Adora had stopped sleeping in their tent due to the lack of heat circulation that suffocated them as they slept, and truthfully, Catra is happy to fall asleep under the stars with Adora. _She has continued to transform at such a rapid pace. I do not see her say the words anymore. I have not seen her sleep restfully since the first night after the war._

“I know,” Catra whispers back, her eyes glued to Adora’s sweaty and darkened face. “I’m worried too. But I can only do so much for her. There are people that need her more than I do, and you and I both know she’s not the kind of person to refuse to help anyone.”

 _You need her in a different way than others do,_ Melog says, resting his head on Catra’s knee. _Just as she needs you. But still, I worry for Adora._

Catra nods sadly, bringing her hand up to gently stroke Melog’s head. “Me too.”

* * *

  
  


They’ve reached the city just outside of Bright Moon’s capital, and immediately, Catra’s heart drops at the destruction the Horde has caused.

Buildings are billowing smoke, even three weeks after the war’s final battle. Houses are demolished, shops are blown to pieces, and she can see, perched from the hilltop the Alliance is on, countless bodies scattered across the ruined streets. It’s the worst city they’ve been to- the destruction more rampant and the carnage bloodier than their previous stops.

“Alright,” Catra hears, but when she turns around, she is not expecting to see She-Ra. Her transformation was silent. Her voice sounds deeper and more hollowed-out, carrying a powerful but light air to it. “There are about forty-seven buildings still producing smoke from the agitation of wind on old embers. There are eleven tanks on the south side. Ninety-two Horde soldiers are dead on the street in the east quadrant, and I do not see any further activity of their presence. I think it is safe to presume that they are all either defunct or dead,” She-Ra says. Catra whips her head around to lock eyes with Glimmer, who looks floored. Entrapta starts to mutter.

“I’m pulling up the preliminary scans Emily did of the place before we got here, so we should know in a second,” Entrapta says, her eyes glued to her tablet. A green light flashes on the screen and Entrapta lowers her tablet slowly. Her eyebrows furrow as she looks up at She-Ra. “You’re… you’re right,” she whispers. She-Ra’s face does not change.

“I know. Come,” she says, sliding down the hill. “There are civilians that need help.”

She’s out of sight when Catra finally turns to look at the rest of the group. She feels confused and, honestly, slightly unnerved. The person who just spoke was not Adora- was not her Adora. She-Ra’s air held something different, something more powerful, something… scarier. Something absent.

“We’re barely in the north quadrant,” Entrapta breathes, and Catra looks down at the city to see that She-ra has already crossed the mile to the entrance. “We can’t even see the south side of the city from here.” Her heart freezes.

“How did she get there so fast? I’ve never seen her move like that!” Scorpia exclaims, moving next to Catra to look down at the city. Melog winds himself between Catra’s legs and looks up at her.

 _Something is wrong with Adora,_ he says. Catra looks out at the horizon.

“I don’t think that was Adora,” Perfuma whispers.

“Me neither.”

* * *

They’ve been in the city for three hours before they finally meet She-Ra again. She is covered in soot and blood, and has four children trailing behind her. Catra knows that Adora enjoys children, enjoys their presence, enjoys their joy, but she also knows that Adora is the first person to remove children from scenes of destruction and death when they stumble upon it.

“Adora, there’s kids following you,” Catra hisses. “Get them out of here. It’s not safe. Come on, you know that.” But She-Ra does not pay any attention to Catra, and if she hears her, she does not react. Catra frowns.

“Adora,” she says, louder this time. It’s unlike Adora to ignore her. Still, there is no response. She-Ra lifts nine planks of burnt wood from the street as she tries to clear a pathway for the medical carriage nearby. “Adora,” Catra tries again, frustration seeping into her voice. “Adora!” Nothing. “SHE-RA!”

She-Ra finally blinks and turns towards Catra. Whatever frustration Catra was feeling immediately dissipates as she sees that She-Ra’s eyes are much more blue than usual- a strange blue tinge seeping into the regular whites of her eyes. Words die in Catra’s throat as she looks up at She-Ra, speechless. Her mind begins to race- _is that normal? Is that a new magic thing? Has that ever happened before?-_ before She-Ra’s voice cuts into her thoughts.

“I am aware of the children,” she says bluntly, turning back to look at the gaggle of dirty children. “They are-” she freezes, the planks of wood dropping from her hands and hitting the pavement with a loud thud. “There were four children. Where is the fourth?”

Catra’s heart drops. “You lost a kid?” she yells, stomping towards She-Ra. She stops dead in her tracks when she sees the missing little boy climbing up an abandoned Horde tank, about thirty feet behind She-Ra. She-Ra stays planted in place. She shakes her head and furrows her brow, staring harshly at the ground.

“Stop,” she mutters to herself weakly. Catra grabs her sleeve.

“Adora,” she whispers with a panic-filled voice, pointing at the child. He must be at least thirty feet away, making his way up to the artillery hub on the very top. “Adora, the kid.”

Catra jumps back as She-Ra falls to her knees, hugging her shoulders. She lets out a pained scream and grabs the grass in front of her with rapidly paling hands. “ _Stop_ ,” she whispers again, and her voice comes out choked.

Catra’s knees hit the ground and she wraps her hands around She-Ra's gigantic frame. “Adora!?” she yells, shaking her slightly. “Adora, what’s wrong?”

Catra looks up and behind She-Ra’s shoulders to see that the child has made his way into the cockpit. A loud _whir_ emits from the machine as the front barrel swivels to life. Catra’s blood freezes and her face pales.

“Adora,” she says frantically. “Adora, the kid got in the tank. It’s gonna shoot. Adora?” Catra whimpers, looking rapidly between the tank and She-Ra. “Adora, please, you’re the only one who’s quick enough to stop it.”

She-Ra’s head shoots up, suddenly, and Catra freezes as she sees the whites of her eyes flash between white and bright blue. “I can’t,” she grits out, and Catra hears _Adora_ , now, grinding her teeth together in pain. “I can’t.” She-Ra’s form flickers, briefly, back into Adora, and Catra is quick enough to see Adora’s bloodshot and sunken eyes, the dried blood under her fingernails, the tears spilling down her cheeks.

“ADORA!” Catra screams as the tank’s barrel swivels towards where she and She-Ra are on the ground. “ADORA, IT’S GOING TO SHOOT!”

The tank’s barrel lights up.

She-Ra screams again, and Catra hears a soft, broken “ _please…_ ” before she takes one last glance at the tank’s barrel, now a glaring red. Panicked, Catra does the only thing she thinks to do. She throws herself over She-Ra’s form and presses her head into her chest, attempting to shield her from the impending blast.

“Ξεκουραστείτε, παιδί. Είσαι πόνος.”

The tank fires.

When Catra looks up, not having felt the blast, she’s met with She-Ra’s eyes, bright blue flowing out of every corner. Her sword is raised, and Catra sees that it’s glowing with a bright golden shimmer as it absorbs the energy blast from the tank. Her stance is different, her chin is level, and her face is completely devoid of any semblance of emotion.

Catra scutters back and away from She-Ra.

 _“CASTOR!”_ Catra’s head snaps towards the sound to see a young woman running towards the tank. “CASTOR!”  
  
The little boy climbs out of the entrance, his face covered in tears. “I’m sorry, mama. I didn’t mean to. I was just playing around.” Catra watches, horrified and still in shock, as the mother drags the boy away by the arm, sobbing, oblivious to her son's actions.

She looks back at She-Ra, who has not moved an inch.

“Adora,” Catra says. She-Ra does not move, but Catra knows better now.

“She-Ra.”

Her eyes snap towards Catra’s figure, and she slowly lowers her sword. She appraises Catra, but still, she does not speak. Something in Catra, the lingering feeling that something is wrong, that something is bad, finally gets the better of her.

“Okay!” she snaps, standing to glare dangerously at She-Ra. “I’m sick of you acting all weird. Change back so I can make Entrapta run some tests on you. Maybe check you for that Horde virus. Whatever’s going on- whatever’s been making you act fucking _crazy-_ need to stop. Now.”

She-Ra blinks, but stays silent. “Did you hear what I fucking said? Change back now, Adora! I’m not messing with you!” Catra all but yells, moving to grip She-Ra harshly by the shoulders. Catra is not angry at Adora- no, not in the slightest. She’s _terrified-_ terrified of what she does not know, what she does not understand, what she fears has taken Adora from her.

“Are you attempting to coerce me into reverting back to Adora’s mortal form?” She-Ra finally says. Her voice is monotone and empty of emotion, throatier and deeper than usual. Catra’s grimace deepens as she tightens her hold on She-Ra’s shoulders. In the back of her mind, she realizes that her claws have not penetrated her skin or drawn any blood. They would have done so by now, at the strength that Catra is digging into her.

“YES! THIS IS NOT FUNNY!”

“I am unable to do so.” Catra blinks and releases her hands, now shaky, from She-Ra’s arms.

“What the fuck do you mean? Adora, change back! Let Entrapta check you for the Horde virus!” Catra all but yells, pushing against Adora’s chest.

“I am unable to do so. I apologize, but I am physically unable to return Adora’s body back to her. She has relinquished full control to me.”

“... What?”

“Adora recognized that in her current state, she would not have been able to react fast enough to block the projectile from the tank. She recognized that you would have been harmed, so she gave me a moment of full control over her form and this power in order to react more efficiently. But after the incident was resolved, I found myself unable to connect to Adora again. It is as if the connection is lost. Or, possibly, she is asleep.”

Catra's hands drop limp at her sides, shaking, but She-Ra continues.

“I apologize. You are Catra, correct? I do not wish to bring harm to Adora’s mortal body or her soul. She is, in fact, my most favorite host. I will gladly work with you to return Adora and her body to you.”

Catra does not notice that the Princesses, Sea Hawk, and Bow have gathered behind her.

“WHERE IS SHE?” Catra screams, clawing at the metal armor on her chest. “WHAT DID YOU DO WITH ADORA?” Glimmer runs forward and grabs Catra by the shoulders, pulling her quickly away from She-Ra’s body. 

“CATRA, STOP!” Glimmer screams in her ear. She-Ra, however, remains unmoving.

“I did not do anything to Adora. Her soul and her physical form have taken retreat into my spirit. This has happened only twice before, when the hosts of my power exhaust their mental and physical capacity. She has been summoning me far too much for far too long- it only makes sense that she has grown tired and unable to maintain control. I sent her to refuge inside of my spirit, as I have been taking more control over this form as Adora’s handle was failing. When she granted me full control, I believe that she found herself unable to rightfully take it back due to the weakness of her mental and physical control over this magic.”

“So, where is she?” Bow asks calmly, but his voice gives with a tremor She-Ra closes her eyes momentarily before opening them and meeting his eyes.

“She is resting,” She-Ra says, bringing her hand to her chest. “I can feel her, but I cannot communicate with her. She is dormant right now, as am I when I am not called upon. She is being cared for by the thousands of women who came before her. She is safe in the Garden of Protection.”

Catra’s breathing picks up as her mind comprehends what she is hearing. _Adora’s not here. Adora’s gone. Adora’s-_

Scorpia places a claw on her shoulder in an attempt to calm Catra down from her hyperventilation. “Well, uh thank you,” she stutters, “for, um, taking care of Adora, I guess. Right, guys?” Her eyes glance towards the rest of the group, who are all staring at She-Ra with their jaws dropped and their eyes watery. “... Alrighty, then! I think this town is accounted for. I think we can make it to Bright Moon by nightfall. Let's maybe, uh, get some rest and figure this out tomorrow, huh?”

Catra walks back to their campsite in silence, her eyes glancing back and forth between the path ahead of her and She-Ra, who stops at every tree to look curiously at it. It’s strange, she thinks, that she keeps seeing Adora’s face and knowing that Adora is not in her body. She can’t bring herself to look at Adora’s face and not see Adora in her eyes, her smile, or her voice.

Catra does not sleep that night.

The journey into Bright Moon’s capital only is a few hours, and the group travels in mostly silence. There’s the occasional hum from Entrapta, the attempt at a sea shanty from Seahawk, and the huff from Mermista as she tries- and fails- to shut him down.

Catra walks steadily behind She-Ra the entire time.

When they make it to the castle, she has Glimmer show her to the first room that is not destroyed or dirty. “This is Adora’s,” Glimmer says softly, opening the large door. “I guess, it belongs to the both of you know.”

Glimmer exits almost as quickly as she opened the door. Catra walks slowly over to Adora’s bed and crawls on top of her blanket, suffocating herself with Adora’s scent. It’s enough to send her over the edge- she bursts out into tears, hot and painful against her cheeks, filled with anguish and anger and hopelessness.

She falls into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

“Alright,” Entrapta shouts the next night. They’re gathered around the largest dining table in Bright Moon, eating dinner in an awkward silence. She-Ra sits at the far end of the table, next to Catra, but her plate is empty and her hands are resting softly in her lap. Catra can’t bring herself to look at her for more than a few moments. Glimmer had teleported into the room earlier that evening, grabbing Catra by the neck and pulling her out of Adora’s bed.

 _‘We’re eating in the formal dining room,’_ she says as Catra hisses up at her. _‘We’re going to get some answers. Stop sulking, get up, and help us figure this out.’_

“I’ve got some questions for you, She-Ra,” Entrapta says, pulling out her data pad. She-Ra nods once.

“Anything you would like to know, all you must do is inquire. You must know, however, that I am unable to predict events in the far future, nor am I able to speak to Adora at this time. I can only feel her presence, but I have not quite discerned how to contact her.”

“... Great!” Catra brings a hand to her face and slides it down her cheek. “First question. How is a new She-Ra chosen? Does it have anything to do with the predicted peak physical condition of someone?”

She-Ra blinks. “That is incorrect.” Entrapta deflates. Catra glares at her.

“You geek, that has _nothing_ to do with Adora! Ask her questions about Adora!” Catra spits angrily at Entrapta. Entrapta simply shrugs and presses a few buttons on her data pad.

“The more we know about She-Ra, the more we can learn to help get Adora back,” she says airily. “Please, go ahead.” She-Ra nods.

“On normal occasions, there are trials held to determine the next inheritor of my spirit and my power. The Trials of She-Ra. I work with the current wielder in order to determine the best possible candidate for this power, and I work with the current host to train the next wielder of She-Ra when they are a child. A young woman named Mara was the previous She-Ra before Adora. She was killed before the trials began. I had to choose the next wielder alone, but there is a window in which my spirit is able to be transferred in. I was unable to wait until Adora had grown into a child to forge the connection. But, I must say, I am continually surprised at how quickly Adora has adapted to my magic. It is quite difficult to control this power without formal training and years of work, but Adora has managed to develop quite a strong control in just one year.”

“Why was Adora chosen, specifically?” Glimmer asks.

“The most desirable trait for a She-Ra is for them to possess a pure heart, bravery, and willingness to act on their desire to be- I suppose, in Etherian terms- good. My spirit searched the universe and seven dimensions for the next wielder until I arrived at her home planet Eternia. It is a planet just outside of these cosmos, with similar temperaments and atmospheres. Adora had the strongest connection to my magic, and I recognized immediately that, even as a baby, she would grow to be pure of heart. Thus, I chose her. Her twin brother, Adam, was subsequently chosen to become the next wielder of He-Man’s magic, though he does not possess the strength and power that a She-Ra does. I am unable to transfer my spirit into infants directly because the magic will kill them, so I am forced to choose a sorceress or an individual trained in magic to transfer my spirit into the chosen host and confine them to a blood oath to ensure that they do so. It was only by coincidence that Adora was taken from Eternia and brought here.”

“A brother!?” Glimmer shouts excitedly, slamming her hands on the table. “She has a brother!?”

"Adora's an ALIEN!?" Entrapta screams over her.

“Yes. Adam remains on Eternia, guarding the planet from threats that require him to summon the power of He-Man. I have not had a connection to He-Man since Adora and Adam were separated as infants, but if he were deceased, I would have felt it. Adora was born into the royal family of Eternia that resides in the fortress of Castle Grayskull, which is named after the royal line. The She-Ra before Adora used her last name as a callsign for her transformation into She-Ra, as she and her most trusted companions were members of the rebel squadron that the royal family sponsored to prevent the Etherian colonizers from their planet from activating a weapon of mass destruction. You call them the First Ones."

“Oh, man,” Catra breathes. She smiles down at her lap and chuckles, thrilled for Adora and basking in the revelation that she _does_ have a family. “There are two of them. She has a last name, too? Grayskull?”

She-Ra, for the first time, smiles. “I believe that Adora and Adam are not, technically, the same person. But, that is correct. It is my understanding that this information will please Adora,” she says, and Glimmer smiles with tears in her eyes.

“She’s always wondered if her family was still alive. She never knew where she came from.” Glimmer says, her throat audibly tight. “But, if she’s from another planet, how did she end up here?”

At this, She-Ra grimaces. It’s the most expressive Catra has seen her without Adora present. “A First Ones artificial intelligence program, who was entrusted with the next She-Ra’s training prior to the last wielder’s death, traveled to bring her to Etheria through a dimensional portal. I know that this is… a large source of pain for Adora.”

“... Oh. But, wait. Are you able to see what she’s experiencing when she’s She-Ra? Can you read her thoughts?” Glimmer asks. Catra narrows her eyes. She does not want an audience for the times when she and Adora, in her She-Ra form, are alone.

“... No,” She-Ra says. “I am only able to connect directly with her during times of incredible emotional or physical desperation. It is only then that I am able to experience her emotions, but never her thoughts. The magical connection does not work that way. My spirit, and- I suppose you may call it- personality, remain dormant until either the wielder relieves herself of the control over this power, or I am called upon to protect her physical form or spirit. This, currently, is one such example.”

“Yeah, quite the personality,” Catra mutters under her breath. She does not expect She-Ra to hear her.

“My… personality... is the culmination of knowledge between all of the women who have wielded this power prior to Adora. When each woman passes, their spirit moves to the Garden of Protection and manifests in the physical state of when they experienced the most joy in their lives. That is where Adora is now, being tended to by the thousands of women who came before her,” She-Ra says. Catra exhales slowly, tensely.

_Wow. So, there really is a heaven._

“How is Adora able to become She-Ra without the sword?” Entrapta asks loudly. At this, She-Ra turns her head to the side and leans forward, her brow furrowing. Catra copies the same movement.

“The Sword of Protection was created by the first Masters of the Universe- myself and the first He-Man, for the wielder of She-Ra to control my power. Somewhat of a safeguard, if you will. This raw magic is enough to destroy the physical bodies of mortal hosts, so the sword acted as a way to control the power. I lived dormant inside of Adora for seventeen years before she came into physical contact with the sword. I stay dormant until I am summoned. There is a trend in which she had been able to summon my magic without the sword before she was fully able to control it. She was only able to do so in moments of extreme personal distress regarding the well-being of individuals she had grown to care deeply for. Such as you,” she nods to Catra. “This emotion, as I have grown to understand it through the hosts I have lived through, is love. All evidence points to all forms of love being Adora’s strongest source of strength, and she draws on it to control my power in its raw form. It has struck me as an anomaly. This has caused Adora to not only become the strongest She-Ra to have lived, but the most powerful being in the universe.”

Catra sits back, breathless. She can see the rest of the table’s wide eyes and open mouths, all seemingly shocked by this information. Silently, Catra chuckles. _Most powerful being in the universe, and she still trips over her own two feet._

“Why do you look like that?” Entrapta asks suddenly. She-Ra raises her eyebrows, her voice giving way to the slightest show of offense.

“Are you referring to Adora’s physical manifestation of She-Ra?” Entrapta nods furiously.

“Yes. She-Ra looks like Adora, but, just… different. Why?”

She-Ra nods. “Adora’s physical form, when she summons the magic of She-Ra is an accentuation of her physical features. This is the case with all wielders. This face and its structure will come to reflect what Adora will grow to look like in approximately five or six years, and so on, and so forth. This extreme musculature acts as a conduit for her ability to control the strength of magic that she summons, and this height allows for a more efficient use of that power. The armor is meant for stabilizing the magic when she releases it, as well as protecting her from other forms of magic. How did Lexa say, long ago…?” She-Ra gives a thin-lipped smile. “I believe the term is, ‘the bigger, the better’.”

Bow lets out a snort. “Yeah, that’s Catra’s wildest dream right there.” Heat flares on her cheeks.

“Shut _up!_ ” she hisses. She-Ra looks to Catra, long and firm for a moment, and Catra finds herself unable to move in her seat.

“ _Love_ ,” she ponders softly. She turns fully to Catra. “I believe,” she starts slowly, “that I have just figured out a way to contact Adora.”

“Well,” Entrapta sighs. “So much for the data collection.”

* * *

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Catra asks hesitantly. She-Ra’s hands are gently grasping her head, her thumbs pressed against her temples. Their foreheads touch softly, and though Catra’s heart stutters at the movement when Adora initiates it, she can not help but be unnerved at being close to Adora’s face without Adora present. The rest of the Princesses are gathered around the bed where Catra is laying- _Adora’s bed_ \- with looks of confusion and worry.

“I am confident,” She-Ra says. Their proximity makes Catra flinch at the loudness of her voice. “Though, I have not sent anyone into the Garden before. However, since you are a mortal, I am certain that you will not be trapped.”

Catra blinks, _“Trapped?”_

And then, there is darkness.

Catra awakens in a garden. She’s surrounded by grass, greener than she has ever seen, and an endless array of flowers in all different shapes and colors. Sunlight beams overhead, hot and bright, down on Catra’s body. When she finally is able to lift herself from the ground, she squints forward through the sunlight and sees, in the near distance, a line of small cottages.

She walks.

When she finally reaches the cottages, she sees that they are arranged in a small circle facing towards each other. All the same color, the same size, the same shape. Catra’s breath hitches as she takes in her view- there are not just a _few_ cottages. There must be _thousands_. The ones she can see have different decorations near and around them, and some have open windows and clothes hanging from lines in their front yards. Catra’s breath leaves her chest.

_The Garden of Protection._

“ _Catra_ ,” she hears, and her head whips around to see two women standing near the front of the closest cottage, their heads bend as they point towards her. “ _Catra. That is Catra."_

Catra sneers at them, defensive and nervous. “Who are y-”, she starts, but more women than she can count begin to emerge from cottages, windows, backyards.

_“Catra.”_

_“Catra is here. That’s Catra.”_

_“She’s here for Adora, I just know it.”_

Catra’s ears perk at the mention of Adora, and her heart begins to beat faster. “Adora,” she calls at one of the women. “Where's Adora? Where did you-”

She stops when she feels a soft hand on her shoulder. Catra jumps back at the touch, and when she looks at the woman who touched her, she sees a young, dark-skinned woman with kind eyes and an even kinder smile.

“Catra,” she says softly. “My name is Mara. You’re here for Adora?” Her smile grows as she takes in Catra’s form, anxious and scared. Catra nods slowly.

“I- yes. Can you take me to her? Please?” Catra asks, breathless. Mara nods and extends her hand.

“Close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“I don’t think you want to puke all over Adora when you see her,” Mara laughs. “I don’t think she’ll appreciate that. You know, you came such a long way.” Catra snaps her eyes closed, and the last thing she hears is Mara’s laugh dying off before she feels a sharp pull in her stomach and intense pressure behind her eyelids.

When she opens her eyes, she gasps.

She and Mara are standing in front of an illustrious fountain, pristinely white with flower petals floating in the water. A large statue of a sword- Adora’s sword- stands in the middle of the fountain, the blue of its stone contrasting against the pearl of the marble. Clear, cold shoots out of all sides of the top half of the fountain, cascading down to a large pool at the bottom, where-

“ _Adora,”_ Catra breathes, drinking up the sight of her. Adora floats upwards in the fountain’s large marble pool, her brows furrowed and her mouth clamped shut. Her body is pale, and Catra can see the lines of blue veins trickling upwards towards her ears and down across her upturned wrists. She’s wearing a long, simple white dress, and the water laps around her loose blonde hair. Catra can’t fight the thought that even in this exhausted, weakened, and unconscious state, Adora is still the most beautiful woman she has ever seen.

Catra glances to the side when a movement catches her attention. A woman is standing at the fountain near Adora’s floating figure, holding a small white rag. She leans forward, wipes the sweat from Adora’s brow, and sighs sadly.

“Hey, Mara. She still hasn’t woken up,” the woman grumbles without looking up, throwing her rag on the ground. Her dark hair is long and knotted, and her face is covered with angry, red scars. Catra can’t find the courtesy to look away. “She’s stubborn, I’ll tell you that-” she starts, but stops when she finally notices Catra.

“Catra!” she exclaims. Catra barely has time to react before the woman is pulling Catra in to a tight hug, lifting her off of the ground with the sheer force of her impact. “Oh, man! Adora’s gonna be so happy to see you!” says happily, but then, “... If she decides to wake up.”

“Lexa,” Mara chuckles, “let the girl breathe, hm?” Lexa smiles sheepishly before releasing Catra, who lands on her feet with a soft thud.

“Um,” Catra chokes, “what do you mean, if she wakes up? Wait, how do you know my name?” Lexa and Mara share a look.

“We all know who you are, Catra. You were all she talked about when she first got here, and she was all,” Lexa’s face contorts and she kneels down, “‘Catra! Oh no! Where’s Catra! Bleugh’,” she flops face down onto the ground, “before she passed out.” Mara sighs at Lexa and mumbles, _she is our sister, not a stand-up comedy routine_ , before Lexa stands and brushes the dust off of her knees. “Since then, she’s been here. I’ve been trying to take care of her, but…” she trails off, looking to Mara.

“There have only been two She-Ra’s before who have entered the Garden of Protection to seek temporary asylum. It only happens when she is either in extreme physical or emotional distress. The first woman was three thousand years ago, and only a few of the She-Ra’s here remember her. The second was me,” Mara says softly. “I suffered a head injury that required me to come here to heal. But,” she turns slowly towards Adora, her eyes downcast, “... None of us here have ever treated one who comes with both emotional _and_ physical trauma.”

Catra, now at her wits end, cannot stop the tears that come forward into her vision. “Then use your stupid She-Ra healing magic! There are what, thousands of you? And none of you have done anything? Come on! DO SOMETHING!” she yells frantically, rushing forward to grip the edge of the fountain where Adora floats.

“I like this one,” she hears Lexa whisper behind her. Mara chuckles.

“So does Adora. Catra,” Mara calls softly as she steps forward. “We are not the wielders anymore. We cannot heal Adora. We do not have powers in this place. The elders have placed her in this fountain, which runs with the magic to keep this place alive. That was what worked the last two times, and it is the only thing we knew to do when Adora came to us.”

Tears flow freely down Catra’s cheeks as she looks on at Adora, unmoving and in pain in the fountain. “So, she might not wake up?” she grits out, her voice laced with pain. Lexa steps forward.

“She will,” she says. “She must. But… there is no telling when she will. It’s all up to her.”

Catra nods slowly as she reaches into the water to pull Adora towards her. Adora, who has never given up on anything in her life, who fights relentlessly to protect everyone she can, who has laid down her life countless times for the greater good. For _Catra_. Her heart aches for the woman she loves, and her body moves without thinking.

Catra pulls Adora’s hand gently towards her, and her body floats with it. The uncomfortable sensation of water seeps into Catra’s sleeve and upper body as she pulls Adora up into her arms to stare down at her. She is still sweating, and her brow is still furrowed, but she has more color in her face than when Catra first laid eyes on her. Alone, in pain, in the fountain. She stays lifeless as Catra wraps both arms around Adora, steps forward, and lowers herself into the fountain to float with Adora. She brings her body impossibly closer, nestling Adora’s head into her shoulder.

“Okay,” Catra whispers softly to Adora. She brings a hand up to Adora’s face and retracts her claws to brush wet strands of hair away from her cheeks. “Okay,” she whispers again, smiling down at Adora with tears in her eyes. “You need some time? That’s okay. Take all the time you need. You’ve been through so much, yeah? You always try and help everyone around you, and you never take care of yourself, you know that? It’s time you took some time of your own to heal. Whatever you need, Adora,” Catra says, cupping Adora’s cheek. “I’m not going to leave until you’re ready to go home.”

Adora opens her eyes.

 _“Adora!”_ Catra cries, moving away so she can look fully at Adora’s face. Her eyes are watery and unfocused. “Adora,” she says, softer this time, moving to cup her cheek again. “It’s me, love. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere until you’re ready.”

Adora groans and blinks, causing the tears to spill out over her eyes. “C’tra…” she mumbles. Her eyes squeeze shut again, as if the dim light of the room is too bright for her. “... ‘urts.”

“I know. I know, baby. I know it hurts. But it’s gonna be okay,” Catra whispers back frantically, bringing her face to Adora’s. “Take all the time you need. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay, Adora.”

She presses her lips softly to Adora’s. It’s brief, only for a moment, but Adora’s eyes fly open and her body shoots upwards into the air, knocking Catra backwards. Her head splashes under the water, and when she resurfaces, she hears both Mara and Lexa yelling over her gasps for air.

“What’s happening!?” Catra yells at them. “What did I do!?” They both move to pull Catra from the fountain by her shoulders as a bright, white light envelops Adora’s body. Water drips from her figure and back into the fountain, now simmering with a blue light. When Adora opens her eyes, bright blue light erupts from them- the same light that emits from She-Ra’s eyes.

A loud voice rumbles throughout the room.

“Κόρη, προχωρήστε με ειρήνη.”

Catra shuts her eyes, the pressure behind her eyes and the sensation in her gut returns, and-

* * *

She wakes up in Adora’s room and is met by the scared faces of Bow and Glimmer.

“Catra,” Glimmer says, tugging on her sleeve. Panic is evident in her voice. “Something is happening.”

Catra sits up quickly and is met with the same bright, white light. She-Ra’s body has lifted from the ground and is floating in the air, her back arched, in the same position that she saw Adora in. The same blue light emits from her eyes, and she floats, motionless.

"Γιατί υποφέρετε, παιδί;" the rumbling voice speaks again. She-Ra’s mouth does not move.

"Οι αδελφές σου σε εύχονται γαλήνη."

The light explodes into the room, and when she shields her eyes, Catra’s pupils burn at the intensity of the light. When she is able to finally see through the blur of pain and light, she sees two figures. Adora and She-Ra, separated. Floating softly across each other, enveloped by a shimmering light.

Adora’s eyes are the same as when Catra saw her briefly in the city outside of Bright Moon- bloodshot, sunken, and pained. Her clothes are tattered from fighting. Her knuckles are bruised and bloody. Blood is etched into her hair and the underside of her fingernails. Catra’s heart sinks when she sees six long, bloody claw marks running down her back, having torn through her clothes and skin. Blood splats take up most of the color on Adora’s clothes. Her face looks tired, impossibly tired, and her eyes are hooded from exhaustion.

She looks like she is in the worst pain Catra has ever seen her in. She reaches out to move to Adora, to grab her, to take her and steal her away to somewhere far, quiet, and safe, but an invisible force stops her from moving.

She-Ra speaks first. 

_“Adora,”_ she says. Her voice is overlapped with the voices of thousands of other women, power and empathy radiating from her tone. “ _You suffer, child. You are in pain. Why?_ ”

Adora speaks, and her voice is scratchy.

“It's my job,” she says. Catra lets out a sob at the look on Adora’s face, so defeated and tired. "I don't think this job came with a choice." Her voice is wry, dripping with unspoken pain.

“ _You always have a choice, Adora._ ” The light flickers again as She-Ra’s body begins to change, her form taking the one of an older woman with brown hair and a scar running down her cheek. “ _You always have. But what matters is if you let yourself make it. You deserve to be selfish sometimes._ ”

Her form changes again. _Lexa,_ Catra recognizes. Lexa learns forward to touch Adora’s cheek in the air, her smile soft and sad. “ _We know it’s hard, but it gets easier. You have people to share this burden with. Please. Don't make the same mistakes we all did. You've got so much going for you, kid. We want this for you. We're your sisters. We want you to be happy like we never were.”_

Her form changes again.

“ _I meant what I said, Adora,_ ” Mara says. She brings up her other hand to grab Adora’s shoulders, forcing her to look up at Mara from where her gaze was fixed on the ground. “ _You are worth more than what you can do for other people. You deserve love. You let yourself have it, and it saved you. It saved all of us. But you have to share this pain. You cannot keep the burden of being you all to yourself, or it will kill you- just as it killed me. You did what none of us could ever do. What we never had the strength to do._ ”

“It hurts," Adora sobs. "It still hurts. I fixed everything, but it still hurts. It hurt so badly, and I don’t know what to do.” Tears drip from her face and onto the floor. She takes a shaky breath in and looks at Mara. “I don’t know how to make it stop, Mara. How do I make it stop?"

Her form changes again, but not to another woman. She-Ra’s form transforms into a shimmering gold outline of Adora’s manifestation of She-Ra, and the blue stone in her headpiece burns bright with blue light. “ _It will not stop, but it will get easier. The pain you experience is the pain that the thousands of women before you have felt and succumbed to. We ache for you. But do not let it stop you, Adora. This is our burden, together, but you are our biggest pride._ _We are proud of you, sister_ ,” the voices say.

Adora lets out a broken sob. “How do I make it stop? Please, how do I make this stop?” she pleads, reaching her hand forward to grab at the figure. The figure bows its head before its form changes again.

Mara reappears, smiling at Adora with aching eyes and tears on her cheeks. Catra brings a hand up to wipe at her own tears that had let run silently down her face.

“ _That’s not something we can tell you, Adora. But you have us. And you have your friends. And you’ve finally, after so many years of pain, have let yourself love. Love saved you, and love will continue to save you.”_ She reaches out to Adora, who grabs her hand quickly. “ _You have finally let yourself have all the things that we have ever wanted for you. Peace. Love. Happiness. Continue to choose those things, and let them guide you. These are the things that She-Ra stands for, even still, after so many years of us having been exploited, and tortured, and corrupted. You have come so, so far on your own journey. You have laughed, you have grieved, and you have lived. That comes before being She-Ra. Because without you, Adora, there is no She-Ra. You are the embodiment of our strength, our weaknesses, and our mistakes. But you are so much more than the power that you have been burdened with. You have to believe that._ ” She pulls Adora towards her and brings her hand up to pull her face towards her. Mara touches their foreheads together. It’s a gesture, Catra sees, that is full of thousands of years of sadness.

“ _We live inside of you, and we see you, Adora. We see your pain, your struggles, your sadness. But you have to know that you have been granted with what most of us have never had. You have the support system to start making choices for you, not just the people of this world that you belong to. She-Ra can not exist if you don't let yourself live._ ”

“But how will I know what to choose?” Adora grits out through tears. “When to choose? When to choose for myself? I can't afford to make anymore mistakes.” Mara smiles sadly.

“ _Follow your heart. It’s gotten you this far. To the end of a war, to a new life, to a new beginning. Choose love, Adora. It's okay to be selfish.”_

Mara pulls Adora into an embrace, and the blinding light encasing them in the air burns impossibly brighter.

“Να είσαι με αγάπη, αδερφή.”

Adora falls from the air and collapses onto the ground with a thud. Catra scrambles over to Adora and slides onto the ground next to her, her knees burning with the impact. “Adora,” she breathes, heaving her body into her lap. “Adora?”

The injuries on Adora’s and destruction to her clothing have disappeared. The bruises and cuts on her body are gone, as well as the exhaustion from her face. Her breathing is strong and steady, much to Catra’s relief. Perfuma and Mermista move to grab Adora and put her on the bed. With a soft huff, Catra stands on shaky knees and helps them carry Adora to her bed.

When she’s settled, Catra pulls the blanket over Adora’s sleeping form and crawls underneath with her, taking pleasure in the warmth emitting from Adora’s body- the warmth that was absent from her lifeless form when she was floating in the fountain. “Let’s give them some space,” she hears Bow whisper to the others, and she sighs with relief when she hears the last of the footsteps leave the impossibly large room and the door close.

Catra looks up at Adora’s sleeping face.

Her hair is down, curling around her ears and her cheeks. Her cheeks are flushed with color, her eyebrows are relaxed, and her mouth is slightly open, sighing with the wisps of sleep. Catra reaches up to brush a strand of hair out of her face and cups the underside of her jaw softly.

“I love you,” Catra breathes into Adora’s neck. She cuddles closer to Adora and wraps her arm firmly, securely, around her waist. “You should have told me you were hurting, dummy.”

Catra should have paid closer attention to it. But instead, she fell victim to the same trap that all of their friends had- the false pretense that Adora was invincible. Indestructible. Anything more than human. The exhausted days and the sleepless nights where Adora’s eyes were dimmer, her smile weaker, her body growing more and more tired with exertion. They had begun their journey back to Bright Moon the morning after the war ended, with little time to process or cope with the events of the horrors they faced before they threw themselves into helping the citizens of the broken towns they came across.

Adora especially.

Even after everything, Catra thinks to herself as she curls her tail around Adora’s ankle, Adora had not given herself a second of rest. It was her curse, her eternal burden to bear as she carried on with the strength of thousands of women and the responsibility of universal peace. Adora had not allowed herself a misstep, a breath, a mistake of any sort- not even as a cadet in the Horde. She carried herself with fierce passion, strength, and grace. And when the war came to its climax, Adora was right in the middle of it.

Quite literally.

Catra feels tears stinging behind her eyes at the thought of losing Adora, half dead and half awake in the middle of the Heart. But she's here, now, asleep and peaceful and _alive_. The choice to be able to lay with the woman she loves- _the choice she has finally allowed herself to make_ \- is enough to lull Catra into sleep.

* * *

When she wakes, Adora is playing with her hair.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Adora says softly, playing with a short curl of hair by Catra’s ear. Catra blinks the sleep out of her eyes and tilts her head up to look at Adora. “How did you sleep?”

“You’re okay,” Catra breathes. Adora smiles briefly at her before Catra tumbles onto her, pulling her tightly into her arms and burying her head into Adora’s neck. “You’re _okay._ ”

“Yeah,” Adora chuckles lightly, moving to press her palms against the small of Catra’s back. “Turns out, I just needed some magical spirit water and a dead girl yelling at me to feel better.” Catra sits up abruptly and swats at Adora's shoulder, who laughs.

“That’s not funny, you jerk!” Catra hisses, scanning Adora’s face. Her voice picks up as she grows frantic again, the harrowing feeling of Adora's absence returning. “You were there, and then you weren’t! And She-Ra was being all weird, and then she was like ‘she’s resting in some magical garden in a heaven dimension’, and then, she was like, ‘oh, Adora's an alien who has a magical brother’, and then I went into the heaven dimension and everyone was kind of weird? And-”

“A _WHAT!?_ ” Adora screams, flying from her position to sit upright with wide eyes. “I HAVE A _WHAT!?”_

“- Shut up and _listen to me!”_ Catra yells, shaking Adora by the shoulders. “I thought you were gone! We ALL did! Why didn’t you…” Catra lets her voice trail off and turns her head down to look at the blanket. “... Why didn’t you tell me you were in pain?”

Adora’s voice cracks, “Oh, _Catra_ ,” and she moves forward, pressing Catra back into the bed and resting her head on her chest. Catra’s ears flatten against her head at the intimacy of the motion. “I...” Adora starts softly. “... I guess I didn’t think it was really my place to complain, you know? So many people had it worse than me. They lost their homes, their families-”

“And I almost lost you,” Catra interrupts sharply, bringing her hand up to run it up and down Adora’s back. Adora hums.

“Yeah. I almost died. I’m aware, you know, I was there-”

“ _Adora.”_

“Right. Sorry. It’s just,” Adora shifts slightly, “I didn’t tell you because you had your own stuff going on too. Things were new and I didn’t want to put, like, three years worth of emotional and physical pain on you.”

“Not even Bow and Glimmer?” Catra asks. She feels Adora shake her head.

“No. They wouldn’t have understood. I was just so tired, and so sad because of all of that responsibility and pain, my body hadn’t recovered from everything, and the more I thought She-Ra could fix everything, the more… the more I made myself worse, I guess. And all of a sudden, I was in the Garden. And then you came to get me,” she hears Adora smile. She presses a kiss to the exposed skin on Catra’s chest.

Catra sighs sadly. “Of course I did, Adora. But She-Ra isn’t the answer to everything. We need Adora, you know. _I_ need you. I didn’t fall in love with She-Ra,” Catra mumbles. She presses a kiss to the top of Adora’s head. “I fell in love with you.”

Adora shifts again. “I am She-Ra, though.”

“No, She-Ra is what you can do. I thought that Mara girl made it pretty clear. She-Ra is something you do for other people. Let yourself be happy too, Adora. You of all people deserve it.”

“That’s something I’m working on. Maybe you can come with me to one of Perfuma’s ‘self-love’ workshops,” Adora teases, moving her head up to smirk at Catra. She groans.

“Ugh, please no. The last thing I want is for her to- _mph_ _!_ ” Catra is cut off by Adora pressing her lips firmly to hers, sweet and slow and firm. Catra can feel any tension from her body melt away as she pulls Adora closer to her, moving her arm to grab at her soft hair. Adora presses further, throwing her leg over Catra’s thigh and moving to straddle her. She presses their chests together and grabs at Catra’s hands, pinning her arms above her head as she kisses her again. Heat spreads through Catra’s body as her head starts to spin, the only thing she can focus on being _Adora_.

They finally break away, breathless and smiling. “What was that for?” Catra rasps. Adora grins cheekily, moving to pepper kisses up Catra’s neck. Catra lets out an airy moan before she can stop herself, and Adora stops just below her ear.

“I’m letting myself be happy,” she says lowly, and Catra’s thighs clench together. She presses a slow, long kiss to the spot under Catra’s ear. “I deserve it.”

“You do,” Catra breathes. “You do.”

They don’t make it to breakfast. Or lunch. Or dinner.

* * *

The next day, they enter the main dining room hand in hand, smiling from ear to ear. Glimmer shoots up at the sight of Adora, and in a flash of sparkles, appears next to her.

“Finally!” she exhales. “Are you okay? How are you feeling?”

Catra feels Adora tighten her grasp around her hand.

“Honestly? I’ve never felt better.”

Suddenly, Adora gasps.

“I have a BROTHER!? Does he look like me? Does he- can he do the whole She-Ra thing? Maybe not She-Ra, because he's a dude, or maybe she's just stuck in a dude's body for right now, but-”

Catra laughs, genuinely and freely. “She-Ra couldn’t keep her mouth shut. There’s a _lot_ we need to catch you up on.”

They spend the day explaining the history that She-Ra had bestowed upon them, telling Adora of Eternia, her brother, and attempting to shakily recount the explanation of She-Ra’s secrets to her. When the plans are finalized that night to travel to Eternia, Adora and Catra finally collapse in bed- their bed, now- and pull each other into a hot, needy kiss.

 _‘Choose love,’_ Catra muses, grabbing at the back of Adora’s neck to pull her closer. She feels Adora smile into their kiss.

_Maybe those damned princesses were onto something._


End file.
